Gender Health Misogyny Toxic Masculinity

The centre of the universe

CW: menz

TW: genitalia, discourse perpetuating rape culture

That’s how cismen see themselves. The centre of each and every conversation, the biggest voice and the most vicious bark.

The centre of the entire fucking universe.

Can you imagine, toxic masculinity makes you so aggressively homophobic and simultaneously reliant on getting all your contact and emotional needs from womxn that you have queer men willing to be the ‘gay best friend’ and used like a prop; whilst straight men think a womxn brushing past them at a bar is them longing to shag their sorry arse – only for them to roll up at their house around 3am and cry about how their dad didn’t hug them.

Have you ever sat with a group of cishet men whilst they go to the bar and get a round?

Male 1: Here’s ya drinks, lads.

Male 2: You see that barmaid? She’s gorgeous! I’d like to…

Male 1: Don’t say another word, she smiled at me – I know she wants me! I saw that look in her eyes. She’s gagging for it, look she’s not wearing a bra!

Someone working bar, a person doing their job, literally paid to smile and be friendly, is seen as wanting to fuck them in their little universe. The audacity.

The same out of this world obsession revolves around men, that have a penis, believing deep down they can turn a queer womxn by “giving ‘em the D”. That they don’t truly believe they are fully devout to lesbianism or their bisexuality or their pansexuality etc, because they “haven’t had the right dick yet”.

These are the same guys that, on average, last 2.5minutes during sex and aren’t in any way sure if they have made their partner cum. I often think they’d be much better at sex with two dicks, at least they know how to use the tools. Saying that, sex involving two dicks is just as self-centred.

Or similarly gay guys chasing cishet men. Like, do you not see the shit these fuckers get up to? Why are you willing to chase it? “Oh, but I just can’t deal with queer men, I want a real man!” I’m speechless. Internalised homophobia is a headfuck.

And if you’ve ever been talking to a gay guy and that second you mention you’re not straight, they act all supportive, enquire as to your experiences of your sexuality and you can see that twinkle in their eyes as they corner you later in the night and ask you for sex.

Or even worse, say they “love you”.

Some cishet men believe, wholeheartedly, that lesbianism is just a button on YouPorn. They see a couple out at a club or bar, necking, and immediately point at ‘em. Make a spectacle of their love, their affection because – according to them – they own lesbian love scenes. But they’ll undoubtedly get angry and disgusted by seeing two men kiss.

Their tiny fucking universe.

Cishet men are so messed up with how they centre the world around themselves, they’ll idolise their daughters but tear down their sons. They’ll believe their own masculinity is attacked or in jeopardy if their child is not straight.

How do we trust people that believe that they can ‘cure’ someone’s sexuality with a serving of basic-arse dick? Or someone who actually sees value in mentioning the size of their dick in every other conversation? Or someone who is so obsessed with their own dick, period.

How do we trust people that believe “if I just get a girlfriend and settle down with them, all my problems will go away”? No, Gary, you’ll drain and destroy that poor soul’s lifeforce, like you have with everyone else before her.

Hell, why do we trust them. That’s the question.

Happy May Day.

Just a quiet reflection on some men and some heteronormative fuckery.

Feel free to be offended or post your own experiences below.


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